Season of the Witch

No, seriously, it’s Nicolas Cage on a horse from his new movie “Season of the Witch”, not to be mistaken with that pseudo “Halloween” sequel that no one could figure out because, well, what the eff, right? “Season of the Witch” is a 14th-century supernatural thriller that has Cage playing a knight who just recently returned from the Crusades, only to have to deal with an evil sorceress played by British actress Claire Foy who is spreading some bad voodoo across the land. Cage is all, “But I’ve lost my faith and junk due to fighting in the Crusades, and now I gotta deal with this?” And everyone is like, “Dude, you gotta take the chick to some mountain and make her stop her evil ways,” and Cage is like, “Man, being a knight blows!”

Dominic Sena (”Swordfish”) directs, and here’s your first look at Cage on a horse from “Season of the Witch” courtesy of the chaps at USA Today.

My guess is that Cage’s knight falls in love with the witch and realizes she’s not the real cause of the bad hoodoo and they live happily ever after. Years later, people find out they’ve opened a hair plug shop in the mountains and are making a mint selling fake hair to people that, as it turns out, are not people hair, but are actually goat hair. They then get burned alive and some other people take over their shop. I could be wrong, of course.

Nic Cage vs. Witches in Season of the Witch

He was dangerous with a gun in “Bangkok Dangerous”, and now Nicolas Cage is dangerous with a sword in “Season of the Witch”, in which he’ll play a 14th century knight trying to help a girl accused of witchery get rid of her little problem. Obviously, this is the kind of role Cage was born to play. Um, well, not really, but you know, considering that this is Hollywood, and Cage will be directed by the flashy-to-a-fault Dominic Sena (who last directed Cage in the car masterpiece “Gone in Sixty Seconds”, known primarily as “the car movie where Angelina Jolie had dreads and still managed to look totally hot”), does it matter?

Ryan Kavanaugh’s Relativity Media and Atlas Entertainment are backing the project, with Atlas founder Charles Roven and partner Alex Gartner set as producers.

Cage plays a 14th century knight transporting a girl suspected of being the witch behind the Black Plague. His compatriots help him bring the girl to an abbey of monks trained in exorcising demons.

“Witch,” written by Bragi Schut Jr. (CBS’ “Threshold”), is set to begin production in early November in Austria and Hungary.

Cage is currently shooting the live-action version of Mark Millar’s teenage superhero movie “Kick Ass”, in which he plays the role of Big Daddy, father to teenage gut-slicer Hit Girl. That movie promises to be something you’ll remember, even if it ends up sucking. This one? Not so much.

Salt

Salt (2010)

Plot: When CIA officer Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) is outed as a Russian sleeper spy, she evades capture by those who are convinced she’s aiming to assassinate the president.

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Directed by: Phillip Noyce
Year of Release: 2010

Legion

Legion (2010)

Plot: After a terrifying biblical apocalypse descends upon the world, a group of strangers stranded in a remote truck stop diner in the Southwest unwittingly become humanity’s last line of defense when they discover the diner’s young waitress is pregnant with the messiah.

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Paul Bettany, Doug Jones, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Durand, Kate Walsh, Lucas Black, Willa Holland, Adrianne Palicki, Jon Tenney, Charles S. Dutton, Josh Stamberg, Yancey Arias, Luce Rains, Erik Betts
Directed by: Scott Stewart
Release Date: January 22, 2010

Paul Bettany’s “Legion” is flying under the radar right now, but it’s not flying under my radar. This is easily one of my most anticipated movies of 2010, and the one panel at Comic Con I will do everything in my power to attend, if just to see something from this movie. What can I say, I just dig the whole concept behind it. Plus, Paul Bettany is fronting the flick as a badass arc angel armed with a knife and a machinegun. And wings. Don’t forget about the wings. How could something like that not be totally badass?

Anyways, all that is a long-winded way to say that the guys over at MaximumPC snuck their way into the San Diego Convention Center where Comic Con will be held in mere days and snapped some pictures. Thanks to reader J. Mack, who recognized my enthusiasm for “Legion” and sent me the heads up. Dude, you rock.

In the film, Bettany will play Michael, who along with some humans in a diner in the middle of nowhere, has to protect the messiah growing inside one of the diner’s waitress. All that, while the apocalypse is taking place outside the diner. Yikes. The film will co-star Dennis Quaid, Doug Jones, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Durand, Kate Walsh , Lucas Black, Willa Holland, and Adrianne Palicki.

Dennis Quaid, Adrianne Palicki, and Others Join Legion

Scott Stewart’s directorial debut, the fantastic sounding “Legion”, has just gotten mucho crowded. The film, which stars Paul Bettany (aka Mr. Jennifer Connelly) as a fallen archangel who tries to save mankind from imminent destruction, has added a gaggle of potential saviors of mankind to its cast. Dennis Quaid (pictured, left), Tyrese Gibson, Jon Tenney, Charles S. Dutton, Lucas Black, Kate Walsh, Adrianne Palicki, Kevin Durand and Willa Holland are all signing up to save the world, or die trying. Well, they’d have to die if they failed, right?

Scripted by Stewart and Peter Schink, the thriller casts Bettany as the archangel Michael, the only one standing between mankind and an apocalypse, after God loses faith in humanity. Man’s lone hope rests with a group of strangers who must deliver a baby they realize is Christ in his second coming.

This is the kind of movie right up my alley. Anything that posits the end of the world, that throws in angels and the Devil, and I’m there with bells on. Plus, I’d love to see this work out for Bettany, a vastly underrated fantastic actor who needs just this kind of movie to break through into superstar status. Or at least, more leading man roles.

All About Steve

All About Steve

Sandra Bullock plays eccentric crossword puzzle constructor Mary Horowitz who, after one short blind date, falls for handsome cable news cameraman Steve (Cooper). Convinced they are soul mates, Mary follows Steve across the country, encouraged by the self-serving actions of news reporter Hartman Hughes (Church). Along the way, Mary befriends an endearing group of oddballs who embrace her idiosyncrasies.

SPIDER-MAN 4

SPIDER-MAN 4

No plot details have been announced. The the villain is understood to be from the comics and not someone written-up for the film. So, if the villain is from the comics and is "a big part of New York," that likely rules out rumored villains Electro and Carnage, Peter Parker's professor-turned-reptile the Lizard, or other villainous possibilities Kraven the Hunter, the Vulture and Man-Wolf.

Priest

The vampire western concerns a warrior priest who disobeys church law by teaming with a young sheriff and a priestess to track down a band of renegade vampires who have kidnapped his niece.

August 13th, 2010

Crazies

Crazies Remake

To be honest with you, I kind of wish George Romero had decided to direct this remake of his 1973 movie “The Crazies”. At least this way we could keep him from doing another movie about zombies. Obviously I have nothing against zombie movies (I love me some zombie movies), but the way ol Georgie is going right now, it feels like I’m watching the same movie over and over again. But in any case, “The Crazies” is coming, and a teaser poster has popped up online.

The plot for the remake, to be directed by Breck Eisner (”Sahara”) remains the same as the original, with the military attempting to contain a killer man-made virus that causes death and permanent insanity in those infected. The action takes place in a small town, where “Hitman’s” Timothy Olyphant is the Sheriff and Radha Mitchell (”Man on Fire”) is his wife. And according to IMDB.com, some guy name Joe Reegan will be playing a character name Billy Babcock. I’m guessing that’s an important character, since he’s the only one with a name at the moment.

Things get crazy September 25, 2009.

Radha Mitchell is Crazies?

“The Crazies”, a remake of George Romero’s 1970s movie of the same name, may have nabbed its leading lady in Radha Mitchell, says horror site Shock-til-you-drop. I wouldn’t be surprise if this is indeed the case; Mitchell is no stranger to genre fare, with flicks like “Pitch Black”, “Silent Hill” and the more recent “Rogue” on her resume. No, not the one with Jet Li and Jason Statham, the one with the giant crocodile set in Australia. You know, with that guy from Alias. It’s actually a very decent creature movie, so check it out if you haven’t. Or don’t. See if I care.

We presume she’ll be playing the wife of Olyphant’s sheriff character who is faced with a biological weapon that has infected the town’s water supply thus making the residents violently loopy.

Breck Eisner is directing from a script by Scott Kosar and Ray Wright. George Romero won’t be calling the shots this time around, but I’m sure the old dog will pocket a nice change from “producing” the remake. Timothy Olyphant is the film’s only other cast member to date.

Armored

Screen Gems has released the first trailer for Nimrod Antal’s heist thriller Armored. To be completely honest with you, I haven’t really heard much about this film before the trailer was just released on Apple. And for good reason, this film looks like one of those middle of the road action movies you don’t hear about before or after it hits theaters - it just seems to float in and out of existence.

The movie tells the story of “a crew of officers at an armored transport security firm risk their lives when they embark on the ultimate heist….against their own company. Armed with a seemingly fool-proof plan, the men plan on making off with a fortune with harm to none. But when an unexpected witness interferes, the plan quickly unravels and all bets are off.”

The film stars Matt Dillon, Jean Reno, Laurence Fishburne, Skeet Ulrich, Amaury Nolasco, Andre Jamal Kinney, Milo Ventimiglia, Fred Ward and Columbus Short.

Armored hits theaters on September 18th 2009.